


Stuck in a ditch

by Phanfictionhoe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Bottom Draco, Confused Harry, Depressed Harry Potter, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Gay Panic, Happy Ending, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Roommates, Slow Burn, Smut, a bit of angst, a bit of heterosexual sex, get some help bro, harry really needs a therapist, its ok he will, like dude, oh wait he’s bi?, turns out we’re all a bit gay who knew
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:34:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phanfictionhoe/pseuds/Phanfictionhoe
Summary: Harry Potter was a bit stuck in his life and he wasn’t sure why. He had a great girlfriend, amazing friends, and a real family for the first time. But it’s not really what it seems on the surface with Harry feeling like his life is not one he really wants, but what is expected of him as the savior of the wizarding world. Then comes his eighth year at hogwarts and sharing a room with none other than Draco Malfoy. Life is going to get much worse, or is it?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first Drarry fic but I’ve been a big fan for a while. It must be my sad lesbian heart that made me write this oops, anyway I really hope that you guys enjoy and leave any comments you may have. Thanks <3

June 31st

It was sunny, almost too sunny, said Ron who was already a bit sunburnt from playing quidditch in the back garden of the Burrow for the last two hours. 

Harry liked it though, he felt warm in a way he hadn’t in the earlier months of the year. Comfortable in his skin which had been cracked and raw from the cold of the forest. 

Now he had moisture to his skin once again. Part of it was sweat from their outdoor games. But he also felt more youthful than he had in such a long time. 

He was free from all the pressure that had been placed in his shoulders at 11 years old. He never realized until now just how much it had weighed down on him. 

Sure he was able to have fun in his youth, playing games with the other Gryffindors in the common room. Playing pranks on the Slytherins in the halls. 

But at the same time, Harry knows that he didn’t have much of a childhood at all. The first 10 years of his life were filled with countless abuse from the Dursley’s and the only toys he got were immediately stolen or broken by Dudley. 

The next 7 years were a lot better in some ways. He had two wonderful best friends. People who he really felt he could call his family. 

But again, he didn’t have much time to be a child when he had to defeat a dark and powerful wizard who tried and almost succeeded to commit mass genocide. 

And now at 18 years old Harry finally had time to be a kid. 

“Harry getcha head in the game mate, Yer girlfriend is killing us,” came from Ron, who was across the makeshift field they had blocked off with tree branches. 

Harry looked over to his girlfriend, Ginny, she had her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she was holding the quaffed in her hand and making her way towards their goalposts, which were also made out of sticks. 

Ginny was one of the best parts of Harry’s new life he thought. She was obviously beautiful, with long red hair and high cheekbones and plump lips. Any guy can see that. But she also had the way she held herself, like one of the guys. It didn’t make Harry feel so nervous and sweaty like how he was with Cho. 

“Better toughen up potter, or you’re gonna lose to a girl.” This time it was Ginny who had spoken, she had made her way to their goalposts and made a point while Harry had his little daydream. 

“I told you I’m a shite keeper.” Harry moaned. 

“Well, I wanted to try out being a seeker for a change so though luck.” Came from George. 

George has been through so much during the war, they all had, but George had lost an ear then a twin brother. Harry still blames himself for it all, not that he would ever admit to that, Hermione would throttle him if he did so much as hint at it. 

But he couldn’t help it. So many people had died, so many others were left orphaned or permanently injured. If Harry had just killed Voldemort earlier then none of this would have ever happened. 

He let the people he cared about sacrifice themselves to keep him safe. Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, Tonks. 

It was hard for him not to think about any of them. 

Sometimes when he has a cup of tea he wants to ask Sirius if he wants one as well. But he can’t. 

Or when he sees his godson Teddy he wants to cry because he is so much like himself. His parents are dead and he will never get to know them. 

At least he has his grandmother Andromeda, as opposed to just Harry. Harry can’t imagine him being a very good father, with his only references to one were Vernon, who was an abusive twat, and Sirius. 

He can imagine Sirius being a father. He just wished he could have grown up with him as opposed to the Dursley’s. But he didn’t, and he barely saw the man in person, so he doesn’t really have much of a reference there. 

“All right, you’ve thoroughly destroyed us enough for today I think,” said Ron, just as molly yells for them to come inside. 

Harry dismounts from his broom and is quickly greeted by Ginny, who loops her arm with his own. 

“What was up with you out there, you looked far away.” 

“Just thinking about going back to Hogwarts,” which was only a bit of a lie, but she didn’t want to hear the truth. 

“Oh, I’m quite excited! Luna and I have been writing about going to Hogsmeade to check out the shops now that they’re being rebuilt.” 

That was another thing Harry was thinking about. How destroyed everything got in the crossfire, not just at Hogwarts but everywhere. 

“Oh and I get to be captain of the quidditch team, we’re definitely going to crush Slytherin this year!” 

Harry wanted to be happy for her, but it all just felt so far away now. Quidditch, rivalries, those were things Harry had been a part of in the past, and he loved it. It was one of the few things that made him feel like a kid. 

But now it feels like none of it really matters. Who cares if Slytherin beats us, at least we’re alive. 

He still tries to put on a good face and listen to her, he does love her after all, and that’s what you do for those you love. 

“I just wish we could count on you being our seeker huh,” Ginny elbowed him in the ribs lightly, “But I get it Harry Potter is too good for us, you’ll probably be recruited into England’s team any day now.”

Harry laughed at that,” I’m not so sure about that Ginn, I’m a bit out of practice.” Not to mention his loss of interest, but again she didn’t need to know that.

“I guess you’re right, you were shit today,” she laughed,” but it’s ok I’ll support you on the Harpies.” 

Ginny wanted to be a professional quidditch player with the Holyhead Harpies. She was a brilliant player, Harry knew she could do it, probably would be the youngest player ever to join the team as well. 

“But you’ll be a hotshot Auror, so I guess we can support each other.” She kissed his cheek and ran upstairs to change. 

That was another thing that stressed Harry out. Being an Auror was always his dream. But he’s already done a lot of catching the bad guys and to be honest he was quite done with it. 

But it was what everyone expected. Like Ginny being a quidditch player and Hermione being the minister of magic, it was bound to happen. 

But Harry just wasn’t so sure anymore. He was so tired. He loved to help people, but he doesn’t really want to have to hunt down death eaters anymore. 

What other jobs could he even do though? He had basically based his entire Hogwarts life around being an Auror. 

He could be a healer, but he’s shit at potions. 

He could be a professor, but he’s not so sure of how well he would be able to teach. 

He was stuck in a ditch and he couldn’t get out. 

At least he had the rest of the year to figure some stuff out. Maybe at Hogwarts, he’ll get some sort of epiphany and realize his true calling in the world. 

But for the moment he would just smile and put on like he was fine. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry’s birthday continues with a bit of family fun at dinner and a bit of fun between Ginny and Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy!

June 31st evening

It was time for dinner at the burrow and Harry was starving, currently, he and Ron here setting the table. Without magic despite them being old enough to use magic outside of school, but molly still treats them a bit like kids. 

“All righty lets sit down and eat. Harry, I’ve got your favorite, French onion soup and treacle tart for dessert.” Molly smiles at him, patting his hand as she sits down. 

Before Harry could say thank you, George, spoke up,” Oi, why do you never make my favorite.”

“It’s not your birthday dear, now eat your soup.” 

Harry smiles at the light bickering and chitchat going on at the table. It made him feel good to be apart of a family. 

He ate his soup and thought about his makeshift family. 

The Weasleys took him in and he loved them more than anything, he never really knew that family could be like this, happy to be with him. 

Hermione was there too, she’s been back and forth from here to her parents in Australia, thankfully able to remove the obliviate that she did on them. 

He doesn’t want another person to lose their family because of him. Especially since they were still alive, which would almost be worse than them being dead, as they would be there but she just could never see them again. 

Harry needs to stop thinking. Every time he thinks, even if things that he likes, it always ends up spiraling down until he thinks of only the worst things. 

“Harry!”, Charlie exclaimed, startling him out of his thoughts, which isn’t a bad thing. 

“Yes?” Harry said confused as to why Charlie and Ron were looking at him a bit funny, “Do I have something on my face?” He said wiping at his mouth. 

Ron laughed,” just the ugly mate,” Harry dropped his hands and narrowed his eyebrows at Ron,” no but Charlie and I have been trying to get your attention for like a minute.” 

Had they. Wow, how many times lately had Harry zones out of conversations with friends to think about the ugly parts of his life.

“We asked if you wanted to go out shopping tomorrow in Diagon Alley, mums to busy working on the garden and said I can drive ya in the car.” Said Charlie. 

“Sure, sounds good. I’m gonna need a lot of new books for this year anyway.”

Like she heard her name Hermione joined the conversation,” I’ve kept in contact with Headmaster Mcgonagall and she’s been telling me just how much work professors have been spending on trying to find new material to teach the 8th years, it’s crazy, like Professor Sprout...”

That’s where Harry stopped listening, this time not because of dark thoughts, but because of the feeling of someone taping his foot with their own. 

He looked up to see Ginny giving him a sultry look from being her glass of pumpkin juice. As she moved her foot up the inner seam of his leg. 

Immediately Harry looked to his left where Arthur, his girlfriend’s father sat two seats away from him. 

It had been quite hard, no pun intended, for him and Ginny to spend alone time together. It seems like everyone always needs one of them to be somewhere. So when they do get alone time together, they try to take advantage of it. 

But at the moment Harry wasn’t sure that being at a table full of their family, including her four older brothers, was the best time to make moves on his girlfriend. 

He gives her a look that says so and she stops but winks, showing him that she would be revisiting this topic later. Which he didn’t mind that much, he was an 18-year-old boy. 

Speaking of being 18, molly Brings out Harry’s favorite treacle tart, with a candle in the middle and they start to sing happy birthday. 

He laughs as Ron and George sing in offensively off-key voices, and Molly sacks them on the head with her oven mitt. 

“Make a wish Harry.” Came from Bill at the end of the table, his wife Fleur couldn’t be there today as she had a work emergency. 

Harry thought for a moment but didn’t know what to wish for, he seemingly had everything. But he also wasn’t sure he was happy with it all. God that made Harry feel selfish, everything he ever wanted was in front of him, but he couldn’t just be happy with it. What was wrong with him. 

Before he got too deep into a spiral and people started to notice he blew out the candles. 

Everyone cheered and Molly cut the tart into prices and passed it around. 

“What’d ya wish for mate? Money, a new broom.” Came from Ron who immediately started stuffing his face with tart, which Hermione scoffed at. 

“Yeah, a new broom.” Said Harry, despite knowing that was a lie. 

The thing that he really wished for being happy. 

It was hours later and Harry laid in bed starring at the ceiling. 

He had gotten to sleep fine at first but it seemed like he almost immediately woke up. 

He just sighed aloud and wished he had a dreamless sleep potion right about now. 

That was when he heard the door creak open a bit. 

Ginny quickly closed the door and climbed onto Harry’s bed in his shared room with Ron. 

Speaking of Ron he looked over to his friend's bed to find it empty, which makes sense as that means he was in Ginny and Hermione’s room. 

That was something he did not want to think about. 

She crawled up the bed until she was seated on his lap. She gave him the same sultry look she had given him earlier in the evening. 

He reached up and placed his hands on her hips as she started kissing his neck. 

He felt himself getting aroused as she started biting and licking at his neck he gripped her harder and grinded his hips upward into her. 

She moaned quietly and grinned back down against him. She moved one of his hands to her breast underneath her nightshirt. 

He started playing with her nipple in the way she liked. Applying light pressure first by rubbing then twisting and pulling it a bit harder.

She started panting a bit and reached between them to take him into her hand. It only took a few strokes before he was coming into her hand.

He groaned a bit too loudly and teased her nipple a bit faster as he reached into her panties. 

She whimpered as he found her clit and started rubbing. She rode down onto his hand until she too had her release. 

The two laid beside each other and breathed loudly, calming down. 

“I love you, Harry,” She said as she rolled over to face away from him. 

“Love you too Ginn,” replied Harry as he usually does, not really sure in what way he meant it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the Herero sex lol it probs won’t happen again too much. Next chapter is when they get to Hogwarts so Draco will be coming(lol)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Hogwarts! It's gonna be great right? Maybe not...

September 1st

He was alone. Sitting by what looked like the Black lake, but it was frozen over. In fact, everything looked frozen. Harry looked around at his surroundings and saw that everything was completely still, not a sound. It was ominously quiet, so much so when that Harry tried to speak he realized that there wasn't a sound coming from his mouth. 

There seemed to be snowflakes in the air, but they too weren't moving, they were completely still. 

That was when Harry heard whispers coming from behind him, he turned but no one was there, and the whispers were just getting louder and louder until they were overwhelmingly loud in his ears. 

He couldnt understand what they were saying, it was too much and he wanted to yell for help but he couldnt speak. Then he tried to run away and his body wouldn't move.

"Harry!" Ron yelled, shaking him from his nightmare. 

Harry sat up with labored breathing and felt wetness on his cheeks, he had been crying.

"Are you alright mate?" Ron said looking concerned.

Harry wiped his tears and took a drink from the glass on his bedside table, then nodded.

"I'm fine Ron," Harry spoke in a groggy voice, taking another drink of water, "Just a bad dream is all."

"It didn't seem like your run of the mill bad dream, you were yelling, nearly woke the whole house up." 

So when Harry tried to yell in the dream, he was really yelling in real life, "I don't even remember it honestly." He lied.

"Alright..." Ron could tell he wasn't being truthful but wasn't going to keep at it, "Well you know what day it is right?"

Harry put on a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "Of course I do, I can't wait to go back to Hogwarts!"

It was usually the thing Harry had looked forward to the most, going back to Hogwarts, back home. But now he couldn't bring himself to be excited about it, all he felt was an immeasurable amount of dread.

It was strange feeling like this. He had never not wanted to go to Hogwarts before. It was the one place he felt like the real Harry. But now he doesn't really know who that is anymore, so the idea of going to the place that held so much weight in his life frightened him. 

The idea of going to class, and being with so many people, some who he called friends, made him want to burrow deeper into his duvet.

But he has to go, he is Harry Potter, people would find it weird if he of all people didn't go back for his eighth year.

It was two hours later and after breakfast and tearful hugs from Molly, the trio plus Ginny were seated in a quiet compartment on the train.

Harry sat looking out the window as his friends talked about what the upcoming year would hold for them. 

He couldn't stop thinking about his nightmare. Even though he couldn't understand what they were saying he felt like the whispers were trying to tell him something. Maybe he should ask Trelawany about it. On second thought maybe not, she would probably tell him it meant he was dying and he really couldn't handle that right now.

"Harry, do you want to come with me to find Luna?" Asked Ginny from the seat next to him.

Anything to stop him thinking about going to Trelawany for advice, so he nodded and followed her out of the compartment, not before noticing Hermione scoot a bit closer to Ron.

They walked down the isles of the train looking through the compartment windows trying to find their goofy friend. Harry felt someone's shoulder connect to his own and looked to see none other than Draco Malfoy walk past him. 

Harry attempted to have a go at him, but before he could Malfoy was gone, disappeared into a compartment of his own.

That was strange, Harry thought, now that they were back a Hogwarts he thought there would be a bit of continuity in their little rivalry. But it didn't even seem like Malfoy noticed him.

A few compartments later and they found Luna, along with Dean, Neville, and Seamus.

They talked a bit about their summers, Luna had gone to New Zealand with her father looking for a specific species of wasp, and what they thought about being back here after what had happened earlier in the year.

"I'm just surprised they were able to fix up the whole castle for classes." Said, Seamus

About an hour had passed and they were pulling up near the castle. 

Harry took a deep breath and stood. Ginny grabbed his hand and smiled. He returned the smile as much as he could and they made their way off the train.

Immediately they were greeted by Hagrid, who enveloped Harry into a great big hug.

"How 're you doing ma boy?" Hagrid asked after letting go of Harry before his airflow stopped.

"I'm feeling fine," Harry replied, "Back at Hogwarts." 

Hagrid patted him on the back and went off to help the first years get into their boats.

As soon as they pulled to the castle up in their carriages, Harry was struck with another feeling of dread. He really didn't want to be here right now. There were going to be people expecting so much of him, not even professors or acquaintances. But his friends expect things of him too. 

Ron expects him to be his partner in crime, future auror power duo. Ginny expects him to be her perfect boyfriend, Harry Potter the boy who lived. All the other Gryffindors expect him to be a leader for them, a hero.

He again wants to crawl into himself and not exist.

As they head into the great hall Harry immediately notices something very different from their previous years at the school.

The four regular house tables are there in their usual spots, bustling with people excited for the new school year. 

But on the other side of the Slytherin table, there is another table, not quite as long as the others. This one decked out in the colors from each of the houses.

At the entrance is Filtch, who is yelling, "All you filthy eighth years are at the table in the corner."

"That makes sense I guess, there are a lot more students here now that we've come back, they need to make room for the first years." Said Hermione, as they make their way over to their year's new table.

He talked with his friends for a bit before everyone was seated and the first years were sorted into their new houses.

Then Headmaster McGonagall got up to speak.

"It has been a long and terrible year for all of us. But I want this year to be a new one for Hogwarts. A year of acceptance and community amongst all of us regardless of houses. I know many of you have been hurt by this war, some more than others, and I do not want anyone to forget that. Instead, I want us all to grow from our pain, and to realize that this is a new start for everyone."

She started to speak more about what she expected from the upcoming year and the same old spiel about the forbidden forest.

"I would like to introduce you all to Dr. Mafalda Jorkins. She is a wizard psychologist who specialized in trauma, which I'm sure a lot of us have. I will let her speak to you all a bit about why she is here."

"Hello, you may call me Mafalda, like your headmaster said I am a psychologist. I am here to help all of you grieve your losses and help you with your pain. I will be having a mandatory meeting with each and every one of you starting Monday. We will have a short talk for about 10 minutes about yourselves and how you are feeling about everything. I understand that not all of you may feel comfortable talking about yourselves, but I want you all to know that I am here to help. I will keep all your thoughts secret unless they may involve hurting yourself or others. After this initial meeting, I will be here for you to reach out to whenever you feel you need it, and I promise you I will never judge you. I have decided that I am going to star alphabetically starting with the 8th year students since you all were the closest to the action, then I will move alphabetically from 7th to 1st year students. If you have any questions or concerns you may come and ask me anytime. Thank you."

That was a lot, thought Harry, he didn't really feel comfortable talking to a stranger, hell he can't even talk to his friends. It probably wouldn't matter much anyway, they'd have a short meeting, she'd be wowed by the Harry Potter, then he could go on his merry way and suffer in silence as per usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much Draco I know sorry, but you'll get plenty more soon I promise. Anyway I hope you are enjoying it so far <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The eighth years are shown to their new dorms and given their new roommates. I wonder who’s Harry’s roommate...

September 1st. Evening 

After dinner was done Harry made to go back to the Gryffindor common room. 

“Eighth years, follow me to your new common room.” Came from Mcgonagall who had appeared in front of the eighth year table. 

“We have our own common room now too?” Spoke Neville. 

“I believe that it is best, as this way you all don’t have to room with the seventh years, nor do we have to expand the common rooms. Your new quarters is in a previously unused part of the castle and you will each be sharing a bedroom with one person from another house so we can promote inclusiveness.”

As the group walked to their new quarters for the year Harry was deep in thought. 

Since he can’t room with Ron or any of his griffindor friends who would be his roommate?

Perhaps a Hufflepuff like Ernie Macmillan or Justin Finch-Fletchley. 

Or maybe a Ravenclaw like Terry Boot or Michael Corner. 

If Harry had to pick a Slytherin he’d probably go with someone quiet like Blaise Zabini, as despite being friends with Malfoy, he really never bothered Harry too much. Anyone else and he’d lose his mind. 

“How this is going to work is quite simple,” Mcgonagall spoke as they reached the Painting that was going to hold their common room,” the rooms themselves are similar to that of the room of requirement, which I’m sure many of you are aquatinted with. Once you enter into the common room the bedrooms will choose the two most compatible people to live in them. As I told you before you will not be rooming with your house members, but this way you will room with someone you have things in common with. The password to enter is Silver Snitch.” 

The door swung open and the eight years entered the commons as the Headmistress left them to their own devices. 

“Wow, this place is amazing,” said Neville to Harry’s right. 

He was right, thought Harry. Their new common room was quite different from the Gryffindor common room. 

For starters it was huge, and had a ceiling likethe one in the great hall, covered in stars. The furniture in the room incorporated bits and pieces of all of the Hogwarts houses. The couch in the middle of the room had little moving pictures of people playing quidditch on it. It seemed like the cushions changed color depending on who sat there as when Hermione sat down it changed from a neutral charcoal grey to Gryffindor red. 

The most eye catching part of the room however was the fire place. It was much bigger than the one in their old common room, looking big enough to for half of the Gryffindors in the room to stand in. It’s fire changed color as well, turning from red to blue to green to yellow. 

Overall, Harry felt like he wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable here, even with people from other houses here. 

“Harry! Let’s go find our rooms,” said Ron who didn’t wait and started making his way towards the staircase that led to the boys quarters. 

Harry followed along and noticed that there were already some names above the doors, while others were still changing, seemingly trying to find a good fit. 

“Hey, here I am. I’m rooming with Anthony Goldstein, he’s an alright bloke. At least he’s not a Slytherin,” he laughed,” let’s go find your room mate.”

As they walked along the halls Harry saw many names, but none of them his own. Blaise Zabini was with Neville. Terry Boot with Seamus. 

“Oi, here you are. You’re with, oh bloody hell...”

“What, it can’t be that bad...” said Harry. 

That was until he saw who’s name exactly was 

Listed below his own. 

Draco Malfoy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god they were roommates


End file.
